It is natural to be attracted to youth. Throughout the history of art, it has been extensively celebrated – in music, paintings, poetry and many other creative mediums. What often attracts us to youth is, of course, its beauty. But also other characteristics, such as excitability and admirable naivety about life, vibrancy and optimistic outlook. As our society becomes more progressive, it becomes more open to and accepting of relationships with a larger than usual age difference. And that is great, because when two people really fall in love with each other any distinction can be overcome.
In case you are looking to start a romance with a person a bit younger than you, then you should be aware that some challenges and obstacles may need to be dealt with.
Of course, any relationship is first and most of all about the two in it. But we all have a circle of other important people in our lives: our parents, siblings, children, friends and so forth. While you two may be comfortable with your age difference, some in your inner circle may not be so open to the idea. His or her parents may feel somewhat uncomfortable with or even suspicious of you as a part of their child’s life. Especially, if you are closer to their age than your loved one. So strongly consider if you are prepared to endure such pressure and put your partner through it as well.
On the reverse, when you are dating a much younger person and you have children from a previous relationship, they may behave unacceptably towards your chosen one. For example, they may not extend an appropriate level of respect to your partner and instead treat them as an unwelcomed peer. Worse, children may turn hostile toward your sweetheart and seek to provoke and cause conflict with him or her. And that could happen not because your kids are trying to be mean, it could be just their way of dealing with the pressure of your relationship on them. In a worst case scenario, you will be forced to chose between your most loved people in the world, with them not willing to share you with each other. A quite painful experience for everyone involved. Even a lighter version still puts an emotional strain on your partner and you. So please make sure that you, and people who are important to you, are ready for this and support your decision.
Speaking of children, if you are in a relationship with a younger person the question of having kids must be addressed. You already may have grown up children from previous relationship and not prepared to have or raise more. Where as your younger partner may have a different plan. Take into the account a demographic trend of many people in their early or even mid 40s still looking to have their first child. Make sure that you honestly discuss your expectations with your partner to avoid confusion and hurt feelings.
Now let’s talk about you. You are attracted to the youthful characteristics of your partner, but do you have enough in common to keep this relationship outgrowing the dating stage. Can you keep up with youth dynamics? Can you participate in all the activities that your younger partner may be involved in? Would you easily accept your partner’s friends? Remember, also, that different generation have different tastes in pretty much everything: music, clothes and art. Some of these tastes may not sit well with you – what is your favorite techno pop track from DJ X? You know what we mean.
Please also be mindful of your younger partner having concerns about your health. Sure, it can be unsettling to think that someone may have such thoughts, especially when you feel that you are in pretty good shape for your age. But nonetheless such worries have their place. Don’t just consider your present state of health and condition. Try to imagine future ones and how they may impact on your relationship. For example, the reality is that with aging our sex drive diminishes while your younger partner’s appetite in this regard may be unfulfilled. This may cause some serious fractions in your relationship.
We are not trying to discourage you from seeking mutual love with someone with an age difference. We are just raising your awareness about some difficulties that you may encounter in such a relationship. Remember, all of them sooner or later encounter challenges. But to minimise damage to yourself and your partner it is better to carefully and diligently consider and discuss some or all of the above noted points.
If you are looking for a relationship with a younger or an older person, but finding it difficult to find the right person for you, we can offer a genuine matchmaking services. If you are presently in love with a person, with a significant age difference and are experiencing some difficulties, we offer effective relationship and dating coaching services to help you out.
Our loved ones come in all shapes, sizes and ages. Remember, that when you meet the right person, you will know it. Good luck and happy dating!